Shameless self promotion

Hello!
As I mentioned last week, D and I self-produced a web series, Secret Millionaires that we launched back in November. As the picture indicates, we are now also FINALISTS in the Audience Choice Catagory at the Mingle Media’s New Media Film Festival. Please follow the orange lettered link, where you can see our show and vote by giving us two thumbs up! This round of voting closes May 15, 2011. So,please, vote for us and pass the link along! It’s quick and you don’t have to sign up for a thing!
The show that had the most votes last round had 4,200 votes, we were in 9th place with 189. We need every vote we can get!!!
As always, thanks for your support!
E NMFF

Root, Root, Root for the Home Team?

You might think to yourself, “What do two ‘artsy-fartsy’ types from the mid-west & Canada know about sports?” Well, I’ll tell you. E was a cheerleader in high school for Basketball and Soccer (she also played) and became a fan of the Colorado Rockies as many a family night was had during high school years first at Mile High Stadium and then at Coors Field. D played baseball. In fact the year after he quit his team went to the Little League World Series. (Yes, they have sports in Canada, aside from hockey and curling.) We both love us some hockey! We’re fans of sport in general and even like a good little rivalry every now and then among our home teams.
Recently in LA, we as a city experienced, well ugliness isn’t a powerful enough word for it, but I guess that it will have to do. It was and continues to be such a huge story here that E was sure that her parents would have heard it in Denver, but they hadn’t. We’re referring to an incident that happened on opening day at Dodger’s Stadium when the LA Dodgers played the 2010 World Series Champion San Francisco Giants. After the game, a couple of “Dodger fans” went rampaging through the parking lot beating up people wearing Giants gear along the way. One Giants fan got the brunt of it, Bryan Stow. He was beaten and kicked so badly, he is still listed in critical condition and has for a second time been placed in a medically induced coma. In the get away car, a woman and child. By all accounts, Stow didn’t want any part of the fight and was simply trying to get back to his car and leave.
It’s sich a huge story that it’s part of local small-talk typography. We went the other night to cheer on the Canucks in game 3 of the Stanley Cup quarter finals at a local Canadian restaurant. We couldn’t believe our ears when we overheard a guy at the next table saying, “The problem is, you don’t schedule opening day against our rivals! You just don’t! First off, opening day isn’t a family game anyway. Most of the tickets are purchased by companies as incentives for employees….” He trailed off because we stopped listening at that point.
Also, the day after it happened, one Dodger’s fan was featured on a local news cast as saying, “If you show up to Dodger’s Stadium wearing the other teams jersey, you can expect that.”
WHAT?!?!?!? Are you serious?
First, “it wasn’t a family game”? What? We’re supposed to designate these things now? No. Going out to a ball game is a family outing. It’s “as American as apple pie”. Good, clean fun with friendly sportsmanship. And I just have to point out that it is highly unlikely that Mr.Stow’s attackers were “company men” enjoying a company incentive. (See attached sketches. There is currently $150K reward for information leading to their arrest.)
Secondly, “We can expect that kind of thing to happen”? Are they sports teams or are they highly paid gang members with us as fans keeping it “street”?
We find either response totally ludicrous! Because any other response than “This is unacceptable behavior” is an excuse for the behavior to exist in the first place.
There are a few things that we just don’t get in the evolution of being a fan and how you support your team. When E was a cheerleader, cheers were for her team, not against the opposing team. Even against rivals, there was never any booing or negative speech. Never would physical altercations ever enter our minds. Also, in hockey, it was understood that the fight stayed on the ice between two players. Now, most of the cheers that can be heard in stadiums don’t promote the great attributes of ones own team, but rather belittle the other team with such witticisms as “YOU SUCK!” lead by the home teams Jumbotron. (Usually followed by taunting. Or maybe that’s just the cheap seats?)
When did we get so involved in sporting events that they became base, primal contests between the spectators? Why are peoples lives so wrapped up in who wins and loses? To us, sports has always been about watching the amazing skill that it takes to play these games smart and well enough to win. The spectator has very little to do with the whole thing. We watch. We encourage members of our team so that they may find the strength to reach deeper and push themselves harder to win the bought.
This isn’t a problem relegated to Dodger’s Stadium or even to Los Angeles teams (even though LA fans have been named the worst fans because of behavior like this). It’s all over the world. But something needs to be done. No more excuses can be made for this behavior. It is not to be tolerated and allowed to grow into a spoiled child. No amount of police presence will stop until the behavior is discouraged by those standing by and watching.
It is sad to see something that was once such a happy thing turn into such a nightmare for one family. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Stow family. We pray that Bryan heals quickly and you will have him back soon. I’m sure his two little ones and wife miss him terribly.
Please pray for them too and that his attackers will be brought to justice.
E

Mid-March Musings

It’s been a while, blah blah blah. I’m sorry. Truth be told, this time, I’ve had time but have been struggling with what to say, really with what to do. Not that things have been horrible lately. Quite the contrary. We are abundantly blessed, I must say. Roof over our heads, food on the table (a bit too much at times really. Both D and I have put on too much “Winter weight”) and D has a job. I have a job too, but I feel rather inadequate at it these days. All I have to do is keep house, cook, get an agent audition and get acting work. It’s not that difficult and I know it. But I have been finding myself unable to do any of these things. Not because of health, at least physical. I can only describe what I have been fighting, tooth and nail has been a mild depression. Thank God for Vitamin D and an understanding husband.
Every morning, I wake with great ambitions only to have them evaporate when I turn on the TV or sit in front of the computer. Days that I decide “I will be productive or bust…into tears” I accomplish one minor goal and have to fall in bed due to exhaustion. Then the guilt.
My Grandmother would never have stood for this. She would wake up at 6AM every morning, make her bed, stretch, make breakfast for all in the house, do the dishes, sweep the house in the span of two hours and at the age of 87 wonder why she was so tired as she “hadn’t done anything”.
I did book a commercial last month which made up for my three months of inactivity financially. But I have to break this cycle. I don’t want to be a drain on my husband and if we plan on having kids (we do) then I can’t be a lazy and/or depressed Momma. I also want to succeed as an actress and you don’t get work without a lot of hustling and hard work.
Here’s my plan to break out of this deplorable behavior:
-See the doctor
-Exercise 6 days a week
-Eat better
-pray more
-volunteer
-get back into background work (gross I know, but once we pay off debt, so much better off.)
-Just do it. I’m going to plan and schedule and organize myself silly so that I get into good habits…you know being an adult. (At 32 it’s about time, eh?)
-Be more grateful for the blessings that I have, because they are so many
-Focus on doing special things for my incredible husband, because he deserves an equally incredible wife.
I don’t write for pity. I write, I suppose asking for accountability. I don’t want to exchange anymore days of my life for absolutely nothing.
Thanks for reading. I hope you are well. Stay motivated and grateful!
E

To Everything, turn, turn, turn…

It’s now 2011. Happy New Year!
You know the Byrds’s song from the 60′s.
“To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven”
It’s originally from the book of Ecclesiastes. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately as the turning of a year always seems like a time to do something new and to be yourself renewed. It seems like a time of optimism also and I suppose that every new year feels optimistic, though not so much these past few years. These are reasons why, I think that so many people make resolutions and most have a positive attitude when it comes to fulfilling them. Well, this year we didn’t so much make a resolution as a decision to take a step into this time of renewal and opportunity and live in it all year long.
D just got a steady “day job” bookkeeping at an online company. It affords him flexibility to audition while providing us with all the benefits of a regular 9 to 5. And in the midst of this, I have been feeling a pull toward the optimism, more so than usual. Like a feeling of anticipation of great things. I’ve even come to expect the good things and believe that though we have no evidence of these things happening, we know that they will. We’re expecting that we’ll have a new car, that D won’t have to work at this job because he’ll be hired as a writer/actor on one of the over 200 pilots shooting this year and that will subsequently the pilot will be picked up, loved by all and have a good run. That I will be able to join AFTRA, at first and be a stand in and then get into some projects and act. That this year, we will start our family. Also knowing, that even if all these things don’t happen, we’re going to have a fantastic year.
In preparation though, I have been feeling that moving from a fluid existence of relative comfort, we’re moving toward a time of discipline in schedule, diet and exercise. That we are called to cleanse, purify and detoxify our lives in a number of ways. All the while, pressing into God by praying and meditating on His word.So, that’s what we’re doing.
If you are in our lives and we tell you we’re going on a cleanse diet, it’s 1) not going to be the master cleanse. That left me in a sobbing heap last time I attempted it and 2) It’s a spiritual discipline as well as a physical health thing. We get to eat whole, raw foods while on this cleanse.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to stop baking or indulging I just won’t be doing it as often. Also, I don’t expect to loose my terrific sense of humor
I feel like Daniel in the Bible, we’re called to eat more fruits and veggies and not indulge as much. I can’t speak for D, but most of my life has been one of laziness, comfort and self indulgence. Now is not the time for those things. There isn’t anything wrong with them in little bits, but you don’t get anywhere with those habits in your life. There are opportunities coming this year. Opportunities in relationships, in careers, in the Spirit and in living in general. I feel it in my bones. I want to have energy to devour every bit of it and be there to teach our children and our children’s children to devour life too.
Discipline isn’t usually associated with living a full, exciting life, but as I said at the beginning, everything in it’s time.
Some topics that I think we’ll be praying for, (please join):
Wisdom for our leaders that surpasses normal human understanding, coming from God
The courage to follow that wisdom regardless of party lines and affiliations. (Jesus wasn’t/isn’t republican or democrat, capitalist or socialist. He is Love. As long as we operate in His Love, then the right things will be done.)
Evil intentions and actions to be discovered and stopped/destroyed
The true Love of Jesus to be spread
The Grace of God to abound, not just for others but also for ourselves
The courage to be the change we wish to see in the world
Dreams to be realized
All these things, we pray not just in our lives, but in yours as well.
Amen
E

Self- Producing part II in a ??? part series…

So, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, if you like this blog or subscribe to it or whatever, that we’ve been away for many months. You may have even thought that it had died. Au contraire mon frere! (Just googled how to actually spell that correctly.) We’ve just been busy creating, producing and acting in a web series called Secret Millionaires. ( Secretmillionairestv.com ) That earlier post that we wrote about self-producing not only got us thinking about self-producing, it got us doing it!
You will be able to see the fruits of our labor on November 17, 2010!
It was very empowering! It can be easy for an actor to sit around and ask, “Why am I not getting bites from representation? Why don’t I get called in by casting directors? Why am I spending all my money on my career with nothing to show for it?” Sometimes, the answers to these questions are enough to make you give up on your dreams… but that’s because they are the wrong questions. Instead, you should be asking, “Am I doing the right things for my career? Am I spending my money, time and energy wisely? Am I taking initiative in my career or am I waiting for it to happen to me?”
We felt that creating quality content for our reels and becoming SAG-eligible was a wise investment of time and resources as well as a plain, good strategic move for our careers. We’re now just that much more marketable to the “decision makers” in our industry.
But before you launch off into self-producing web content, we can share a little wisdom from our experiences.
I think first and foremost that every actor, writer, director or producer needs to understand that each career is unique from anyone else’s career. It’s just as unique as you. You can watch E! True Hollywood Story until you’re blue in the face, trying to copy Reese Witherspoon’s or Tom Hanks’ career, but the people featured on those shows seem to shoot to stardom in a matter of minutes. If you were to actually look at the span of their careers, you’d find most of the consistent working actors went through 7 or 8 years of ‘slogging’ before they were recognized. You’d also find that they usually forged their own path to career success. They contended for each opportunity and subsequent success. You can learn from their stories and follow recommended industry means & methods, but at some point you’ll have to find your own path. There is no “One size fits all (or even most)”. Industry means and methods are changing every day! By the time you’re ready, it may be a whole new set of rules!
Also, if you end up producing web content like a web series strictly to take advantage of the SAG New Media contract, it’s not worth it. There are far too many actors out here that are making series by which you can become SAG eligible. Get into one of those. How? (I’ll tell you in a minute.) Create because you have a story to tell and you want to do it well. Create because you simply must create. Create with passion!
Actors get into the acting mindset and don’t realize every aspect that goes into making quality content. You need to respect your fellow artists who are sacrificing time and donating their resources to help you succeed. You need lights, a camera and someone to operate it, hair/make-up/wardrobe and set dec, just to start. (We didn’t have a dedicated hair/make-up person on our shoot and I regret it because I don’t feel like I looked my best….) Then there is food! If your crew and cast are working for free or close to it, then you NEED to feed them. (Simply throwing sub sandwiches and juiceboxes at them isn’t going to cut it). With digital media, you can afford to have a bigger portion of your budget going toward food anyway. You have to make sure that everyone knows what their job is and which scenes you’re going to shoot and when everyone is expected to be on set. The list goes on and on. I tell you, produce something well and you will learn to respect all those faceless names that scroll too quickly after your favorite show.
We hired our cast and crew mostly from relationships that we had established in our acting class and on… wait for it… TWITTER! (It’s not just to announce your favorite starbucks beverage or the cute thing your cat did anymore). Most of the actors are from our acting class. We see their work consistently and knew that they fit into the script that we had already written. Yet another good reason why it is so important to be training!
As for our twitter friends, we met them at an actors “tweet-up” and saw some of the work that they had done or read reviews of it online. Our team was awesome! By the end, we had a real family. This was REAL networking! We were able to help a few of our friends become SAG eligible, get credits toward other unions and material for their reels.
SAG seems to have become wary of the “New Media loophole”. They were very careful to make sure we had a good ratio of full SAG members to Taft-Hartleys. They also have changed the rules a bit and I have noticed a tendency to try to close these loopholes, so what you hear on Monday may not be the case by Friday. Two of our cast became SAG “must joins” because they joined the project with the understanding that if you are currently eligible and you work a SAG New Media job, you will still remain eligible and not forced to join. That was apparently the case… a year ago, but wasn’t by the time our paperwork was turned into SAG.
I guess all of this is to say sorry that we’ve been silent for so long. I guess I more than made up for it in this post. Also, please watch our show, Secret Millionaires that will begin airing November 17, 2010 at secretmillionairestv.com You can go there right now and watch the trailer!

Liz and Dan in Backstage

We were interviewed recently for a Backstage Magazine article on self-producing content for the web under SAG’s new New Media contract. Check out the link at:

http://www.backstage.com/bso/news-and-features-news/sag-eligibility-the-diy-way-1004122172.story

And check out Secret Millionaires at: www.secretmillionairestv.com

Wonder

Reading a great book right now by Krista Tippett, host of NPR’s “Speaking of Faith”, entitled “Einstein’s God.” Here’s a beautiful quote from physicist Paul Davies:

“For me the crucial thing is that the universe is not only beautiful and harmonious and ingeniously put together, it is also fit for life. And physicists have traditionally ignored life. It’s too hard to think about. More and more, though, I think we have to recognize that if the laws of physics hadn’t been pretty close to what they are, there would be no life. There would be no observers.

“Now, sometimes we just shrug and say, ‘Well, so what.’ You know, ‘If it had been different, we wouldn’t be here to worry about it.’ But I think that’s unsatisfactory. And the reason it’s unsatisfactory is because the universe has not only given rise to life, it’s not only given rise to mind, it’s given rise to thinking beings who can comprehend the universe. Through science and mathematics, we can, so to speak, glimpse the mind of God, as we’ve been discussing.

“And I think that this suggests, to me anyway, that life and mind are not just trivial extras. They’re not just an embellishment on the grand scheme of things; they’re a fundamental part of nature and the universe. And if you imagine playing the role of God and having some sort of machine in front of you with a whole lot of nobs, and you twiddle the knobs and change things – twiddle one knob, make the electron a bit heavier; twiddle another nob and make the strong nuclear force a bit stronger – you soon discover that you have to fine-tune those settings to extraordinary precision in order for there to be life. And the question is, what are we to make of that?”

The book obviously explores the ongoing relationship between scientific pursuit and spiritual belief. I am constantly finding that the snippets I learn about new scientific discoveries and theories cause me to stop and stretch my sense of wonder and imagination… ultimately bringing me closer to God.

Here’s another quote, this time from Einstein himself:

“Why do we come, sometimes spontaneously, to wonder about something? I think that wondering to oneself occurs when an experience conflicts with our fixed ways of seeing the world. I had one such experience of wondering when I was a child of four or five and my father showed me a compass. This needle behaved in such a determined way and did not fit into the usual explanation of how the world works. That is that you must touch something to move it. I still remember now, or believe that I remember, that this experience made a deep and lasting impression on me. There must be something deeply hidden behind everything.”

This is also the goal of great art.

D.

Training

A dear friend of ours, an alum of Carnegie Mellon’s graduate film & TV writer’s program, once told D and I that he was impressed with us because, after four years of training in drama/TV/film- performance at University, we are still taking classes. Right after I graduated from University, I met the Business with the same attitude: “I’ve trained -hard, for four years and you want me to what?!??!?! I’m not spending another dime on training.  Give me a job!”

You may find yourself in the same spot. But let me tell you, your artist needs constant training, stretching and time to explore.  Think of it this way: Your craft is like a plant.  It needs attention, care, food and water in order to stay alive and continue to grow.  If it isn’t getting the right kind of food and isn’t getting any water, that plant isn’t going to have the opportunity to be transplanted into a bigger container because it will be dead. You must continue to train! Don’t overdo it though, because that can also kill your craft by overwhelming it with information that can get all muddled up and keep you from growth as well as drain your pocket book.

So, how does one find the training they need after University, or in some cases, instead of University? Well, I think first you need to consider a few things:

1. The medium you want to work with, i.e. Theatre, film or television

2. Are you pursuing comedy or drama or both?

3. What is the optimum environment, for you to grow and take criticism of your craft?

4. Does a “name” coach or training center factor in at all?

From that point, there is a number of personal choices that will ultimately help you find the right training for you.

The first coach I studied with in Denver once told me that there is no such thing as the “Right coach”. He said, “They are either giving you correct training or they are giving you bogus training.” I agree to an extent.  What he was trying to teach me then is what my current coach is teaching me now. The difference is in the delivery of the information and the main objective of the coaching.

I think that first coach was trying to make sure that , even above making us good actors, we would be tough enough for Hollywood. So his method was, and I believe still is, to tear you down in class until you, like a pheonix from the ashes of your self esteem, rise to new heights and realize your full potential. His goal was to get you to tell people to fuck off if they were to challenge your skills. That method didn’t work for me. In fact, I thought long and hard about quitting acting altogether, because, I thought, “If this is acting and ‘the business’, I want no part of it!” It does work for some though. I know a girl, 6 years later that is still training with him.

Our current coach, Clay Banks, is about the craft and making every actor in his studio live up to their full potential.  He slowly and deftly draws out traits that every great actor needs, and most lack. Characteristics like passion, courage, exploration, true professionalism, continued everyday creativity, being open to emotional experiences -good and bad – and love.  It’s so freeing!  These are things that I think any coach worth their salt will push actors toward, but not all have the same methods.  I know that this method is right for D and I, because under Coach Banks, we’ve grown in areas we never thought possible. So, there’s a little endorsement for ‘ya! He’s a great way to find your own technique instead of espousing one sole technique such as Stanislovski, Meisner, Hagen or Adler.

I would suggest that any actor take an improv class every now and then.  LA, Chicago and NY is busting at the seams with places to study, with places like Second City, UCB, the Groundlings, and IO (IO West in LA).  It really does help as D’s last post will attest.  But even if you’re going into comedy, you should branch out from these usual suspects as you still need to have the ability to, hopefully one day, work on a scripted film or tv show. Each of the aforementioned places has there own unique guidelines for improv.  Some rigidly hold to the technique while others offer them as loose lines in which to play. They each also boast their own roster of very famous, very funny alumni.

Another place that comes up repeatedly in conversations about training here in LA is Playhouse West.  I know successful actors that have come from Playhouse, (Jamie Anne Allman). I know of successful actors that teach there as well, (Mark Pellegrino -Jacob from ABC’s Lost.) It’s a worthwhile place to study.  It is especially so if you are familiar or wish to study the Meisner technique.

And for those who are really name oriented and really good at their craft, you can even study under a celebrity. Doesn’t matter if they are a celebrity coach like Ivana Chubback or you can, after you get really good, study with a celebrity celebrity like Jeffery Tambor, (Arrested Development, Welcome to the Captain & the Hangover.) These may be coaches that your agent or manager will ask you to study with. You know, once you get a series regular or principle movie role.

As in all things in this business, you need to be careful! There are predators out here that don’t care about your dreams, or what you’ve sacrificed to attain them.  They will rob you blind. Be mindful of the “one stop shops” that will charge you an exorbitant  membership fee and then additional fees to take classes, get discounts and meet with agents and casting directors. They may appear to be able to start you on the road to success, but at what cost?  $485 is too much to pay in member dues and then have additional fees added to each session that you would like to attend. Instead, if you feel you must, take the a la carte route and pay per casting director session, class and private coaching session and hit the post office with post card mail outs. I know that there is a growing trend among casting directors that don’t want to see you in the “pay to play” sessions. They would rather see you in their casting offices. (I know, easier said than done, but it can be done.) This is fodder for a different post.

Most importantly, get into a good class, do good work and get auditioning!

Have a blast getting better and better!

E

Get pushed!

Some time ago I took some classes with The Groundlings in Hollywood. I found myself meeting a lot of the training with resistance. They have some very specific approaches and techniques to improv, which I found was stifling my creativity, instead of freeing it. But I determined to button down and really give it my all. And it paid off! Months later, in another acting class, we did an improv exercise, and I found myself naturally applying some of the principles that I found so difficult to integrate from the Groundlings classes. So while I wasn’t about to become an absolute disciple of their school… it really helped being pushed in different directions.

I left the master class at Clay Banks Studios last night feeling a little sorry for myself. Just wasn’t finding the sweet spot in my scene. I understood where the coach was trying to take me, and I was genuinely trying to get there… but I wasn’t fully succeeding, and my initial reaction was to put up a wall – “this just isn’t my kind of role”. Instead I’m taking this week to do some serious work on the character and the text… find ways to build up new muscles so I can expand my repertoire.

In class, if you’re knocking it out of the park every time, you’re not getting pushed enough. You need to grow! The best way to grow is to endure the uncomfortable experience of falling short… only this will really cause you to push through to new, undiscovered levels in your craft. It goes without saying that however you do this, it must be in a safe environment, in which you trust the coach and the students around you.

D.

Abuse of anonymity on the web

I know that this seemingly has little to do with little to do with acting, either pursuing or the craft thereof, but a quite a few posts back I posted a virtual transcript of a forum taught by Phil Cooke on using new media to further your career and influence in the industry.  It is my theory that several people can benefit from reading or re-reading that blog as recent interactions on such sites as Facebook have ruined certain friend’s reputations and professional authority, in my opinion. People that function primarily online are suffering from a disillusion that just because an opinion, slur or hateful word is typed out on a keypad and sent into the ether that it doesn’t cause the same effect as if you were saying directly to someone’s face or as if it hadn’t been posted in the global newspaper.  I try to live by the advice Mr. Cooke so judiciously gave and only post things that I wouldn’t mind published in the paper as a permanent record.

These people that fling insults hide behind the fact that they are, for all intents and purposes, most often anonymous. I can hardly grasp as to how people feel free to be anonymous on Facebook!  For goodness sake, your name  and often all of your information is right there…ripe for the picking!

These folks are also reacting in the most base and unintelligent way.  ”You don’t agree with me??!?!!??!? I’m going to call you an idiot and more horrible insulting things and then, go back to my life as normal.” It’s something akin to a kid walking up to you on the play ground and calling you a poo-poo head and running away. Lame & childish!

As you can probably tell, I’ve had this happen to me recently. A couple of times.

I have to preface this whole thing by saying, I was never in love with the idea of Facebook. It has it’s pro’s and con’s. I didn’t necessarily want to connect with some of the people that I’ve reconnected with. On the flip side, as we all know, there are those people that you’ve fallen out of contact with that you are all too happy to befriend once again. So, I join. I have a family and friends page and a professional page.  I have pretty high security on my friends and family page as I want to be able to say inane things like, “Love this peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I’m eating!”  Don’t need to tell all the professional friends out there about that stuff.  That’s there to talk business and create buzz, if there is any such buzz to create. Moving on…

One such friend that I’ve been reconnected with is an old University chum.  He often posts questions on his twitter and Facebook accounts to get people talking and to drive traffic to his acting website. Smart. Several questions are not at all related to acting but do get people talking.  A couple of weeks ago, while D and I were in San Diego to support the current work of our friends from Room Service at Lamb’s Players Theatre last year, I see one of these questions.  Seems simple enough. He wants to know if his friends are for or against health care reform.  I post my opinion and the fire storm begins!  I try defending myself at intermissions and on my way to a second theatre.  I don’t have time for an adequate  defense, but I give it a go and this one guy, a friend of my University chum, starts just going to town on me!  I mean, really. AND he doesn’t even know me!!!!  The next morning, I went to Hollywood to support my University roommate who was running the LA Marathon and still the arrows flew. Another had joined in the attack.

After all was said and done, I asked my friend who posted the question in the first place, why he didn’t stop his other friends  from saying such horrible things to me.  His response was that it wasn’t his responsibility to defend me.  That if I have an opinion, it’s my responsibility to defend myself, which he contended I did quite well.  He said that people could say far worse things about someone. He also pointed out that another one of his friends had defended me.

True, I suppose but the damage had been done.

My question is still, why wouldn’t a friend stop his friends from attacking one another?  There is no anonymity to the mutual friend. He knows both parties as real people. You never know who is watching/participating in the interaction and how it is adversely effecting your reputation. And what of the reputation that  University friend has now, in my estimation?

Anonymity shouldn’t excuse ugly, neanderthal behavior either.  The same rules apply online as in the real world. Even more so, because the things that are in print online are permanent and cannot be taken back with the exception of an equally public apology. That whole, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” thing doesn’t just go away because you’re in cyber space. So the next time you feel like calling someone and Un-American, greedy, un-Christian, Marxist, Socialist, Communist, illiterate, Totalitarian Nazi, OR allow your friends to do so, think again. (Bet you can guess which side of HCR I am on now )