marinading & cooking
marinading & cooking
So, I don’t think that anyone who had followed this blog is following anymore and that’s ok. I’ve been feeling a pang to write again. This blog is supposed to be focused on what our life is like pursuing acting in LA and what the looks like to us.
Well, after a miscarriage in August of 2011 and then the eventual birth of our son, Will (hence forth known on this blog as W), in September 2012, for me that looks like it’s on hold. But for D, it looks as though he’s starting to carve out a place for himself artistically. Not that commercials are particularly artistically fulfilling, but they do literally pay the bills. He’s also working full time as an Accounts Manager at an internet company. This keeps things even keel here at home. I hope to encourage him to write more on here about the things he is learning and people that he is meeting in the industry. Helps keep perspective when you feel like you’re just spinning your wheels.
For me, I’m a mom now. My days are entirely consumed with W and what he’s eating and changing his diapers and how I should be playing with him to encourage development. They are also plagued with doubt that I am up to the task of being the kind of mom I think that he deserves. It’s funny, because before you’re a parent, you have your game plan all mapped out and know just the kind of parent you want to be and how to get your child to do one thing or another seems so easy. But then, when you meet your little carbon copy, you quickly realize that they are their own people, right from the beginning and nothing that you can do is going to change that. I’m not saying that you can’t help chart the coarse, but you are there as more of a helper than a dictator who’s every word will be obeyed.
It was also very difficult for me to get used to the fact that someone depends completely on me. ME! Who would want to do that?!!?!?!? W, that’s who. It melts my heart when we have been apart for even 30 minutes and upon my return his face lights up and he reaches for me. Things that mattered before, aren’t as important to me. Though things that I cared little about before are pretty important. Things like keeping the house clean, cooking regularly and staying in shape. All because I want the best and want to be the best for W & D.
I have struggles though. Lots of those. Daily. About how to get W to nap in his crib and sleep through the night. About how to deal with weaning and the loss of the intimacy of nursing.
Incidentally, W has D’s agent too, so there are three actor’s in the family now.
As I mentioned last week, D and I self-produced a web series, Secret Millionaires that we launched back in November. As the picture indicates, we are now also FINALISTS in the Audience Choice Catagory at the Mingle Media’s New Media Film Festival. Please follow the orange lettered link, where you can see our show and vote by giving us two thumbs up! This round of voting closes May 15, 2011. So,please, vote for us and pass the link along! It’s quick and you don’t have to sign up for a thing!
The show that had the most votes last round had 4,200 votes, we were in 9th place with 189. We need every vote we can get!!!
As always, thanks for your support!
You might think to yourself, “What do two ‘artsy-fartsy’ types from the mid-west & Canada know about sports?” Well, I’ll tell you. E was a cheerleader in high school for Basketball and Soccer (she also played) and became a fan of the Colorado Rockies as many a family night was had during high school years first at Mile High Stadium and then at Coors Field. D played baseball. In fact the year after he quit his team went to the Little League World Series. (Yes, they have sports in Canada, aside from hockey and curling.) We both love us some hockey! We’re fans of sport in general and even like a good little rivalry every now and then among our home teams.
Recently in LA, we as a city experienced, well ugliness isn’t a powerful enough word for it, but I guess that it will have to do. It was and continues to be such a huge story here that E was sure that her parents would have heard it in Denver, but they hadn’t. We’re referring to an incident that happened on opening day at Dodger’s Stadium when the LA Dodgers played the 2010 World Series Champion San Francisco Giants. After the game, a couple of “Dodger fans” went rampaging through the parking lot beating up people wearing Giants gear along the way. One Giants fan got the brunt of it, Bryan Stow. He was beaten and kicked so badly, he is still listed in critical condition and has for a second time been placed in a medically induced coma. In the get away car, a woman and child. By all accounts, Stow didn’t want any part of the fight and was simply trying to get back to his car and leave.
It’s sich a huge story that it’s part of local small-talk typography. We went the other night to cheer on the Canucks in game 3 of the Stanley Cup quarter finals at a local Canadian restaurant. We couldn’t believe our ears when we overheard a guy at the next table saying, “The problem is, you don’t schedule opening day against our rivals! You just don’t! First off, opening day isn’t a family game anyway. Most of the tickets are purchased by companies as incentives for employees….” He trailed off because we stopped listening at that point.
Also, the day after it happened, one Dodger’s fan was featured on a local news cast as saying, “If you show up to Dodger’s Stadium wearing the other teams jersey, you can expect that.”
WHAT?!?!?!? Are you serious?
First, “it wasn’t a family game”? What? We’re supposed to designate these things now? No. Going out to a ball game is a family outing. It’s “as American as apple pie”. Good, clean fun with friendly sportsmanship. And I just have to point out that it is highly unlikely that Mr.Stow’s attackers were “company men” enjoying a company incentive. (See attached sketches. There is currently $150K reward for information leading to their arrest.)
Secondly, “We can expect that kind of thing to happen”? Are they sports teams or are they highly paid gang members with us as fans keeping it “street”?
We find either response totally ludicrous! Because any other response than “This is unacceptable behavior” is an excuse for the behavior to exist in the first place.
There are a few things that we just don’t get in the evolution of being a fan and how you support your team. When E was a cheerleader, cheers were for her team, not against the opposing team. Even against rivals, there was never any booing or negative speech. Never would physical altercations ever enter our minds. Also, in hockey, it was understood that the fight stayed on the ice between two players. Now, most of the cheers that can be heard in stadiums don’t promote the great attributes of ones own team, but rather belittle the other team with such witticisms as “YOU SUCK!” lead by the home teams Jumbotron. (Usually followed by taunting. Or maybe that’s just the cheap seats?)
When did we get so involved in sporting events that they became base, primal contests between the spectators? Why are peoples lives so wrapped up in who wins and loses? To us, sports has always been about watching the amazing skill that it takes to play these games smart and well enough to win. The spectator has very little to do with the whole thing. We watch. We encourage members of our team so that they may find the strength to reach deeper and push themselves harder to win the bought.
This isn’t a problem relegated to Dodger’s Stadium or even to Los Angeles teams (even though LA fans have been named the worst fans because of behavior like this). It’s all over the world. But something needs to be done. No more excuses can be made for this behavior. It is not to be tolerated and allowed to grow into a spoiled child. No amount of police presence will stop until the behavior is discouraged by those standing by and watching.
It is sad to see something that was once such a happy thing turn into such a nightmare for one family. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Stow family. We pray that Bryan heals quickly and you will have him back soon. I’m sure his two little ones and wife miss him terribly.
Please pray for them too and that his attackers will be brought to justice.
It’s been a while, blah blah blah. I’m sorry. Truth be told, this time, I’ve had time but have been struggling with what to say, really with what to do. Not that things have been horrible lately. Quite the contrary. We are abundantly blessed, I must say. Roof over our heads, food on the table (a bit too much at times really. Both D and I have put on too much “Winter weight”) and D has a job. I have a job too, but I feel rather inadequate at it these days. All I have to do is keep house, cook, get an agent audition and get acting work. It’s not that difficult and I know it. But I have been finding myself unable to do any of these things. Not because of health, at least physical. I can only describe what I have been fighting, tooth and nail has been a mild depression. Thank God for Vitamin D and an understanding husband.
Every morning, I wake with great ambitions only to have them evaporate when I turn on the TV or sit in front of the computer. Days that I decide “I will be productive or bust…into tears” I accomplish one minor goal and have to fall in bed due to exhaustion. Then the guilt.
My Grandmother would never have stood for this. She would wake up at 6AM every morning, make her bed, stretch, make breakfast for all in the house, do the dishes, sweep the house in the span of two hours and at the age of 87 wonder why she was so tired as she “hadn’t done anything”.
I did book a commercial last month which made up for my three months of inactivity financially. But I have to break this cycle. I don’t want to be a drain on my husband and if we plan on having kids (we do) then I can’t be a lazy and/or depressed Momma. I also want to succeed as an actress and you don’t get work without a lot of hustling and hard work.
Here’s my plan to break out of this deplorable behavior:
-See the doctor
-Exercise 6 days a week
-get back into background work (gross I know, but once we pay off debt, so much better off.)
-Just do it. I’m going to plan and schedule and organize myself silly so that I get into good habits…you know being an adult. (At 32 it’s about time, eh?)
-Be more grateful for the blessings that I have, because they are so many
-Focus on doing special things for my incredible husband, because he deserves an equally incredible wife.
I don’t write for pity. I write, I suppose asking for accountability. I don’t want to exchange anymore days of my life for absolutely nothing.
Thanks for reading. I hope you are well. Stay motivated and grateful!
It’s now 2011. Happy New Year!
You know the Byrds’s song from the 60’s.
“To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven”
It’s originally from the book of Ecclesiastes. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately as the turning of a year always seems like a time to do something new and to be yourself renewed. It seems like a time of optimism also and I suppose that every new year feels optimistic, though not so much these past few years. These are reasons why, I think that so many people make resolutions and most have a positive attitude when it comes to fulfilling them. Well, this year we didn’t so much make a resolution as a decision to take a step into this time of renewal and opportunity and live in it all year long.
D just got a steady “day job” bookkeeping at an online company. It affords him flexibility to audition while providing us with all the benefits of a regular 9 to 5. And in the midst of this, I have been feeling a pull toward the optimism, more so than usual. Like a feeling of anticipation of great things. I’ve even come to expect the good things and believe that though we have no evidence of these things happening, we know that they will. We’re expecting that we’ll have a new car, that D won’t have to work at this job because he’ll be hired as a writer/actor on one of the over 200 pilots shooting this year and that will subsequently the pilot will be picked up, loved by all and have a good run. That I will be able to join AFTRA, at first and be a stand in and then get into some projects and act. That this year, we will start our family. Also knowing, that even if all these things don’t happen, we’re going to have a fantastic year.
In preparation though, I have been feeling that moving from a fluid existence of relative comfort, we’re moving toward a time of discipline in schedule, diet and exercise. That we are called to cleanse, purify and detoxify our lives in a number of ways. All the while, pressing into God by praying and meditating on His word.So, that’s what we’re doing.
If you are in our lives and we tell you we’re going on a cleanse diet, it’s 1) not going to be the master cleanse. That left me in a sobbing heap last time I attempted it and 2) It’s a spiritual discipline as well as a physical health thing. We get to eat whole, raw foods while on this cleanse.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to stop baking or indulging I just won’t be doing it as often. Also, I don’t expect to loose my terrific sense of humor 😉
I feel like Daniel in the Bible, we’re called to eat more fruits and veggies and not indulge as much. I can’t speak for D, but most of my life has been one of laziness, comfort and self indulgence. Now is not the time for those things. There isn’t anything wrong with them in little bits, but you don’t get anywhere with those habits in your life. There are opportunities coming this year. Opportunities in relationships, in careers, in the Spirit and in living in general. I feel it in my bones. I want to have energy to devour every bit of it and be there to teach our children and our children’s children to devour life too.
Discipline isn’t usually associated with living a full, exciting life, but as I said at the beginning, everything in it’s time.
Some topics that I think we’ll be praying for, (please join):
Wisdom for our leaders that surpasses normal human understanding, coming from God
The courage to follow that wisdom regardless of party lines and affiliations. (Jesus wasn’t/isn’t republican or democrat, capitalist or socialist. He is Love. As long as we operate in His Love, then the right things will be done.)
Evil intentions and actions to be discovered and stopped/destroyed
The true Love of Jesus to be spread
The Grace of God to abound, not just for others but also for ourselves
The courage to be the change we wish to see in the world
Dreams to be realized
All these things, we pray not just in our lives, but in yours as well.
So, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, if you like this blog or subscribe to it or whatever, that we’ve been away for many months. You may have even thought that it had died. Au contraire mon frere! (Just googled how to actually spell that correctly.) We’ve just been busy creating, producing and acting in a web series called Secret Millionaires. ( Secretmillionairestv.com ) That earlier post that we wrote about self-producing not only got us thinking about self-producing, it got us doing it!
You will be able to see the fruits of our labor on November 17, 2010!
It was very empowering! It can be easy for an actor to sit around and ask, “Why am I not getting bites from representation? Why don’t I get called in by casting directors? Why am I spending all my money on my career with nothing to show for it?” Sometimes, the answers to these questions are enough to make you give up on your dreams… but that’s because they are the wrong questions. Instead, you should be asking, “Am I doing the right things for my career? Am I spending my money, time and energy wisely? Am I taking initiative in my career or am I waiting for it to happen to me?”
We felt that creating quality content for our reels and becoming SAG-eligible was a wise investment of time and resources as well as a plain, good strategic move for our careers. We’re now just that much more marketable to the “decision makers” in our industry.
But before you launch off into self-producing web content, we can share a little wisdom from our experiences.
I think first and foremost that every actor, writer, director or producer needs to understand that each career is unique from anyone else’s career. It’s just as unique as you. You can watch E! True Hollywood Story until you’re blue in the face, trying to copy Reese Witherspoon’s or Tom Hanks’ career, but the people featured on those shows seem to shoot to stardom in a matter of minutes. If you were to actually look at the span of their careers, you’d find most of the consistent working actors went through 7 or 8 years of ‘slogging’ before they were recognized. You’d also find that they usually forged their own path to career success. They contended for each opportunity and subsequent success. You can learn from their stories and follow recommended industry means & methods, but at some point you’ll have to find your own path. There is no “One size fits all (or even most)”. Industry means and methods are changing every day! By the time you’re ready, it may be a whole new set of rules!
Also, if you end up producing web content like a web series strictly to take advantage of the SAG New Media contract, it’s not worth it. There are far too many actors out here that are making series by which you can become SAG eligible. Get into one of those. How? (I’ll tell you in a minute.) Create because you have a story to tell and you want to do it well. Create because you simply must create. Create with passion!
Actors get into the acting mindset and don’t realize every aspect that goes into making quality content. You need to respect your fellow artists who are sacrificing time and donating their resources to help you succeed. You need lights, a camera and someone to operate it, hair/make-up/wardrobe and set dec, just to start. (We didn’t have a dedicated hair/make-up person on our shoot and I regret it because I don’t feel like I looked my best….) Then there is food! If your crew and cast are working for free or close to it, then you NEED to feed them. (Simply throwing sub sandwiches and juiceboxes at them isn’t going to cut it). With digital media, you can afford to have a bigger portion of your budget going toward food anyway. You have to make sure that everyone knows what their job is and which scenes you’re going to shoot and when everyone is expected to be on set. The list goes on and on. I tell you, produce something well and you will learn to respect all those faceless names that scroll too quickly after your favorite show.
We hired our cast and crew mostly from relationships that we had established in our acting class and on… wait for it… TWITTER! (It’s not just to announce your favorite starbucks beverage or the cute thing your cat did anymore). Most of the actors are from our acting class. We see their work consistently and knew that they fit into the script that we had already written. Yet another good reason why it is so important to be training!
As for our twitter friends, we met them at an actors “tweet-up” and saw some of the work that they had done or read reviews of it online. Our team was awesome! By the end, we had a real family. This was REAL networking! We were able to help a few of our friends become SAG eligible, get credits toward other unions and material for their reels.
SAG seems to have become wary of the “New Media loophole”. They were very careful to make sure we had a good ratio of full SAG members to Taft-Hartleys. They also have changed the rules a bit and I have noticed a tendency to try to close these loopholes, so what you hear on Monday may not be the case by Friday. Two of our cast became SAG “must joins” because they joined the project with the understanding that if you are currently eligible and you work a SAG New Media job, you will still remain eligible and not forced to join. That was apparently the case… a year ago, but wasn’t by the time our paperwork was turned into SAG.
I guess all of this is to say sorry that we’ve been silent for so long. I guess I more than made up for it in this post. 😉 Also, please watch our show, Secret Millionaires that will begin airing November 17, 2010 at secretmillionairestv.com You can go there right now and watch the trailer!